A jovial mood sets in. It happens, probably because the exams are finally over and you can’t wait to restore Breaking Bad from your ‘recycle bin’. For ladies, it’s time to go home – meet family. The last paper was done hastily, trying as much as possible to balance excitement and focus. A tactical sweep of the exam room showed total calm, even for the ones alien to tranquility. A good example would be Jose, the crazy schmuck in your the class, who earned the title speeder because of the time he takes to finish his papers. Well, he calls himself a choppy – word used to describe those in love with books – but everyone knows too well what Google can bring out of a ‘genius’. You take a deep breath and slowly retreat to match the rhythm.

It’s a different mantra for the boys; ‘East West, free Wi-Fi is best’. This is the time to make those huge downloads before going home. You figured anything that’s free deserves total attention. Most students have already left by now and this is good news. Not only will internet speeds hit an all-time high, but you’ll also avoid the preying eyes of those quick to judge; women. In a sudden twist, two of your great buddies inform you of a change of plans. Something has come up and scheduled day for going home has been edged closer; matter of hours. Worst still, the school’s bandwidth has just gone down. Communication to your Indian employer cut short. You resort to buy your own internet bundles to chat the way forward with Rajesh. Rajesh is your first employer. Despite poor pay from the article writing job, you always find yourself after him to renew your online contract. Rajesh is offline, last seen: a month ago. Tick tock, you’re on the move.

The journey home is no different. You’ve done it uncountable times, never been a fan. Nauseating feeling marred with constant headaches worsen the five hours trail. This at times leaves you wondering why it features in the list of hobbies of most girls. You arrive home to cheerful hugs of your younger siblings – experience has shown you this is a mere way of saying umetuletea nini this time?. Mama is still at work so you settle in, take a nap then wake up to your younger brother’s nagging character. Keeping his tone in check, he narrates to you the story of how baba Jonny – a local celebrated farmer – slashed his chickens to death. Apparently, the father of two came in one evening from a drinking spree, sharpened his grass cutter and tore the birds to pieces. Credible source had it that this move was in protest of the daily sukuma wiki meal mama Jonny prepared. You laugh not thinking too much of their fate.

It’s only after supper that you get a quiet nice time with your mum. She asks how you’ve been fairing on, quick to notice you’ve lost quite an incredible amount of weight. Deep inside you’re like “you’re to blame, the hustle was tough”, but you suppress it. She informs you that Sarah came home a week earlier. Sarah is a childhood competitor who lives few blocks away. Back in the days, your mama used to vehemently insist Sarah wasn’t supposed to defeat you in end-term exams. You didn’t understand why but then thought that boys were just supposed to lead. Probably that’s the very reason why you’ve always been intrigued by the fact that it’s always ladies first in many queues you’ve been in. You kept the gap and never disappointed. Now both of you grown-ups, you’re among the few in university at your local. The comparison is still on. Sometimes Sarah’s mum comes to your home to scale if her daughter is on the right path by your books. This has brought Sarah and you close. You laugh at the fact that your parents expect you guys to chip in to the family budget from what they regard as ‘hefty’ HELB loan.

The third day home and boredom is being well felt. You log onto your Facebook account to see what the world is up to. All your friends seem to be doing something fun. A normal human you are. You put on your Sunday best, think of a ‘swaggerifiic’ pose then ask Toto to shoot you a photo all smiles, making sure the home theater, plasma screen and Xbox are well seen on the background. Next, you post the photo on your account. Hash tag, ‘just chilling in my hood, nice moments’. Now the short holiday seems long. You take your phone then put it down wondering why it’s always you who should start all the conversations. Finally you swallow your pride and ask those in your circle when they’d be returning back to school. The answers are a shocker. It is only then that you realize you’re the only one like you.